Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
