No, you can still breathe under the balls.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize