sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
