so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
