420 ftw
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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