i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
My bed smells like the plague
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
