Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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