at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
