I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
