wrigley field is MILF paradise
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
