I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
