I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
