I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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