Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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