The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize