Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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