So drunk its hurt
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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