some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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