Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
