I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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