I wanna bring you to show and tell
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
