escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
