how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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