I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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