I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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