hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
