Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
True but thats because hes a fetus.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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