Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
