If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
