Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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