Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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