Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
