Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
