And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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