Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
