If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
pop tarts are not kleenex
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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