Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
