i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
