I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
