and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
