Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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