dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
