I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
