so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
