She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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