First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
