I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
