i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
