Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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