umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
