Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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