I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
