he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
