The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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