I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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