I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
