Sry I called you an 8
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
