"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I did not marry a roomba.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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