im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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