that's an acceptable place to lick
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
