Please, let me fuck your mom
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize