I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
