Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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