i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
