in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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