so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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