I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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