Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Randomize
