I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
