Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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