i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
