she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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