I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
