He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
operation have a gay friend backfired
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize