you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
