Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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