Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
