i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
